


The Mattress Bet

by internationalcoalitionofcamels



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy Santiago Loves Jake Peralta, Attempted Seduction, Bisexual Jake Peralta, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Idiots in Love, Jake Peralta Loves Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta is Bad at Feelings, Kissing, Love, One Shot, Romance, Rosa Diaz & Jake Peralta Friendship, Rosa Diaz is a Good Friend, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24598291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/internationalcoalitionofcamels/pseuds/internationalcoalitionofcamels
Summary: Amy is sick of getting a sore back from sleeping on Jake's crappy mattress. Jake doesn't want to shell out for a new one. In order to pressure Jake, Amy decides to withhold sex until he buys a new mattress, but Jake takes this as a challenge and they each try to get the other to crack first.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 9
Kudos: 100





	The Mattress Bet

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by 3x07 "The Mattress", and while I loved the episode I immediately had this idea and wanted to write my own version. I hope you enjoy!

When Amy had first brought up the mattress, she’d brushed off Jake’s nonchalant response, thinking she would soon get him to change his mind.

“You know I can’t afford a new mattress,” he’d said.

She’d just smiled at him, saying “but you can afford three recliner massage chairs?”

Jake had just rolled his eyes and she’d let it go.

She hadn't brought it up for a while after that, but one too many nights with a sore back caused her to ask him again.

His response this time was "we'll stay at your place."

And again, she'd let it go. But inevitably there were nights they ended up at his place and she’d be stiff all the next day. Beyond that, she worried Jake wasn’t as serious about their relationship as she was.

Despite their years of bickering, and though her past self would never have admitted it, deep down she felt that Jake was it. The One, as some would say. Amy had never really believed there was one person who was meant for her, but she knew she wanted to be with Jake for the long haul. She hoped he felt the same about her. Yes, he was immature at times and certainly dorky, but he was also adorable, clever, and thoughtful when he wanted to be. However, the mattress situation did not illustrate her last point. 

She hoped he would change his mind because for her, the mattress symbolized the future of their relationship. Would it be lumpy and uncomfortable, or soft and welcoming? 

Yeah, so this metaphor was a little ridiculous. She mostly just wanted to be able to spend the night at Jake’s house without getting a sore back.

After one particularly restless night in Jake’s bed (and not in the good way), Amy decided it was time to take drastic measures. 

They were sitting at Jake’s tiny kitchen table, her groggily drinking coffee to make up for the lack of sleep and him pouring milk into his cornflakes (it was a miracle when she had got him to stop dousing his cereal in orange soda).

Setting down her coffee mug with a clunk she looked him in the eye and said, "until you get a new mattress there will be no more… ya know."

"Boinking?" Jake grinned.

"Exactly," Amy smirked.

Jake continued to grin, probably because of his love of the dorky term 'boinking', but the grin soon vanished when he realized what Amy had just said.

“What?!! Amy no!” he exclaimed, looking like a sad puppy.

“Jake, I’m sorry your bed is awful, you need a new one.”

“This bed has been through so much with me, you don’t understand.”

Amy just glared at him.

“I’m worried about your health.”

“Come on Amy, I’m fine!”

“I’m not gonna carry you around when you’re an old man with a broken back.”

“If anything that mattress is making me _stronger _.”__

__“Then there isn’t going to be any sex for a while,” Amy replied, rolling her eyes._ _

__“That’s how it’s going to be?” he asked._ _

__“Yup,” she said, seeing the competitive glint come into his eyes._ _

__That was another thing she liked about Jake. He could match her competitiveness. Almost._ _

__“We’ll see how long you can last without _this_ ,” he replied, gesturing down suggestively at his body._ _

__Amy smirked. There was no way she was gonna lose this. Jake may have loved the word ‘boinking’, but he loved the act itself even more._ _

____

***

Amy was a professional. Always. But she also knew how to get under Jake’s skin, even while being at work.

The first move was to leave her hair down. She didn’t know why, but Jake seemed to be fascinated by her hair. He was always playing with it; while they were watching a movie ( _Die Hard_ or cop shows always, though Amy couldn’t find it in her to really mind when he was wrapped around her) or after sex, his fingers twisting in her hair as she watched his big wide goofy smile, their legs tangled under the sheets. 

Nope, nope, nope. Not appropriate for work, and not getting her to her mattress goal. Amy felt warm and she huffed, willing herself to calm down.

She straightened her shoulders and marched into the precinct.

She plopped into her desk across from Jake’s, taking care to let her hair fall over her chest. She was so preoccupied with her own appearance that she didn’t notice anything about Jake until he greeted her.

“Good morning, Ames,” he smiled across from her. He looked like he normally did--plaid shirt, tie, cute little curl at his temple--except that sitting on his face were a pair of brown framed glasses.

“What are those?!” she exclaimed. Jake Peralta was a good looking person, she’d always thought so privately, but glasses made him a thousand percent more attractive. The glasses seemed to make his cheekbones sharper and his eyes brighter. Not to mention that she’d always had a thing for hot guys with glasses reading books.

“Oh _these_ … ,” he said touching the frames, knowing full well what the eyewear did to her.

“I’ve never seen you wear those.”

“Reading glasses.”

“You don’t have reading glasses.”

“Uh, yes I do.”

“I have never in my life seen you wear reading glasses.”

“Glasses aren’t cool so I don’t wear them _and_ they make your eyes worse.”

“Not wearing glasses when you need them makes your vision worse.”

“Oh, well,” Jake said, rolling his eyes and tucking his lower lip under his teeth, “point is, they haven’t come in handy until now.”

He pulled off the glasses, bringing them to his lips to nibble on the end. Amy rolled her eyes.

“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Oh come on Amy, I know you have a sexy librarian fantasy.”

“Sexy _puzzle solver_ , actually, and it’s sexier when you keep the glasses on your face.”

Jake hastily shoved the glasses back onto his face.

“This is a workplace, you’re being completely inappropriate,” she said, then leaned in close so no one else could hear her, “but you should have told me sooner. This changes everything.”

Jake gulped, his eyes glancing down at her lips then quickly back up to her eyes.

“It’s just too bad we won’t be having sex anytime soon,” she whispered, then leaned back and strode away, smirking to herself.

***

The glasses may have thrown her, but Amy was on top of her game. After that morning interaction, Amy thought she had him right where she wanted him.

Except where she really wanted him was under her. On a new mattress, she reminded herself.

Jake hadn’t taken the damn glasses off all day. She couldn’t help herself from staring at him every chance she got. The way Jake pushed them back up his nose when they slid down, or how the light reflected off the lenses. Amy was having trouble focusing on work, which was never a problem for her. She wanted to grab him by the collar and mash their faces together and send the glasses askew.

Besides the sex appeal they brought, Jake was discovering the wonders of good vision and it was adorable.

“Did you know your head doesn’t have to hurt when you read small print!” he told her excitedly as he looked over a newspaper clipping from a hefty case file.

Not everyone at the precinct was a fan of the glasses though.

“You look like a dork,” Rosa stated, crossing her arms when she saw Jake.

“You know, I think it actually works, like you’re a smart, sexy CEO of a social media startup,” said Gina thoughtfully, “it’ll be an app called emoj-ication that only uses emojis, no words. Words are so last decade.”

“Ok, not what I was expecting,” said Jake, nodding.

“I can totally see it!” Boyle agreed with Gina, gesturing wildly, “like a salacious Mark Zuckerberg!”

“Ew Boyle, no! Forget whatever I said.”

Not even Boyle’s gross descriptions of the glasses could stop Amy from being distracted by them. She wasn’t giving up though, oh no. Santiagos didn’t quit.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and headed to her desk. Jake was sitting across from her as usual, and despite her best efforts he seemed to have an accurate idea of how much she was distracted by the glasses.

Looking discreetly around her to make sure no one was watching, she swung her foot under where their desks met, reaching for Jake’s foot. After some rather inelegant kicking, her foot finally connected with Jake’s shin.

“Ow!” Jake said, looking up from his work at her, “what was that for?”

This really wasn’t what Amy had planned. She was trying to look seductive, but she felt like she was squinting weirdly, sitting awkwardly in her chair from how she was trying to play footsie with Jake. She’d read an article in Cosmopolitan about “sexy footsie” and she thought it’d be a discreet way to turn Jake on at work so he’d cave, but she didn’t know what she was doing.

“Are you okay?”

“Great!” She says, blinking at him.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” he says, getting up from his desk.

Amy sighs deeply when he’s gone. Grabbing her phone she opens the camera, practicing her sexy squint.

“Oh honey, that is not a good look.”

Amy jumped and covered her phone as Gina peered over her shoulder.

“Gina! Those, uh, yoga pants are killer,” Amy said, scrambling to distract Gina from what she was doing.

“These aren’t yoga pants, you slob, these are ultra-fine, custom fitted dance tights.”

“Okay, well, your fancy dance pants are killer,” Amy continued to try to suck up.

“Dance _tights_. And they’re always killer. Al-ways,” Gina corrected, then narrowed her eyes, “Oh you’re just trying to distract me. Not gonna work, I’m like a wise old owl.”

“Noooo! I was just, um, checking my email.”

“Nuh uh. You never use your phone at work.”

Gina was right.

“It was a personal email…” Amy tried.

“You wouldn’t call that ‘unprofessional’?” Gina said with air quotes.

“Of course not, it’s totally reasonable!” Amy said with such enthusiasm it was obvious she was lying.

“Girl spill! You know I need the tea.”

Amy looked around before grabbing Gina’s arm to drag her into the evidence locker. After forcing Gina to promise not to tell Holt (the bet was highly unprofessional) Amy explained what was going on.

“I know exactly what gets Jake going. Come on, we gon’ get you a perm.”

“No!”

“Jake loves _Die Hard_.”

“No, I’m not getting a perm,” Amy crossed her arms.

“Yeah, you couldn’t pull it off anyway.”

“Hey!”

“Fine I have some other ideas,” Gina said, looking her up and down.

“Yeah?”

“Come on, I’m gonna make you look like a damn snack!”

“Remember, no perm!”

***

Their dynamic shifted that evening from high strung to relaxed and comfortable. They were cooking in Amy’s kitchen together, Amy chopping carrots with a precision and intensity to match Gordon Ramsay and Jake attempting not to burn anything on the stove. When she finished she carried the cutting board over to the side and Jake let her pass so she could dump the contents into a frying pan filled with other vegetables. Yes, she had gotten Jake to willingly cook and consume food that wasn’t made entirely from chemicals. It was a feat she was quite proud of.

Jake remained behind her as she poured the carrots into the pan, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I have a question,” he breathed into her ear.

“Hmmm?” Amy responded, not tearing her eyes away from the pan.

“Does our bet include, like, other stuff?”

“Like what?” she asked, smiling.

In response he just planted a soft kiss to her neck. 

Setting down the cutting board and knife on the counter by the stove, she turned in his arms to look up at him.

“I think kissing is okay,” she said. She may be competitive, but she didn’t think she could stand a day without kissing Jake. She pressed him up against the kitchen island, her arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled her closer. 

“And cuddling? Is that still allowed?” he murmured against her lips.

She chuckled and pecked him on the lips.

“I think we can allow that,” she said, and he smiled back at her.

“Now c’mere,” she said, pulling him down to her again. Her hands tugged at the hairs at the nape of his neck as she kissed him. His arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. Jake kissed like he smiled. It was always soft, sweet, and a little bit silly. She had never been with someone who could make her laugh even while kissing or having sex. She smiled into the kiss and pressed herself against him. Jake made a soft sound and she sighed a little into his mouth. When she inhaled she realized there was something distinctly off. They pulled apart and looking over her shoulder Jake groaned, and not in a sexy, making-out-with-your-girlfriend kind of way.

“It’s all burnt.” 

Disentangling themselves Amy shut off the stove while Jake grabbed a hot pad. 

“It was a good try babe,” Amy said as they ate semi-burnt vegetables.

“Hey! Better than your cooking.”

“Jake!”

“What? Cooking just isn’t one of your strong suits.”

“I taught you how to boil an egg!”

“So! I’ve also witnessed you burn pasta, toast, soup--”

“Okay, okay, you can stop now,” she sighed, but Jake just looked at her fondly.

Once they had finished their lightly charred dinner and put their dishes in the dishwasher (Amy liked things clean so what?) they plopped onto the couch. 

“What’s it gonna be tonight?” Jake said as he grabbed the remote.

“I don’t care,” Amy shrugged.

“ _Law and Order_ it is,” Jake said. It was a show they both loved.

Amy moved closer to him on the sofa.

“You said cuddling is okay, right?” Jake asked.

Amy nodded. 

“You’re not just saying that so I give in and you win the bet?”

“Of course not!”

He eyed here suspiciously but she shifted closer and wrapped her arms around his middle. He was warm and she buried her face in his chest as he put his arms around her and pulled her closer.

***

The following day Amy arrived at the precinct early. Gina had decided that in order for Amy to win, she would need to get her hair and makeup done.

“I thought you’d be trying to help Jake, not me,” she said as she sat in front of the mirror in Gina and Rosa’s secret bathroom. Gina was wielding a device that Amy was scared to have near her face.

“I will always take Jake’s side, but he’s obviously going to crack first. Plus, you need a makeover real bad.”

Amy rolled her eyes.

“Let’s get this over with.”

Gina’s makeover was… surprisingly subtle. She made Amy’s eyes shimmery, added some gloss to her lips, and curled her hair in loose waves. When she finally looked at herself in the mirror she actually really liked it. She looked fresh, like she’d gotten more sleep than she had in a long time. 

“Final touch,” Gina said, reaching for the front of her shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“You want to be sexy, you gotta show some skin.”

“Gina! This is a workplace.”

“I let you keep your dumb pantsuit. If you want this to work unbutton a couple buttons.”

“Fine,” said Amy, tugging another button open. 

Jake was already sitting in at his desk when Amy sat down.

“Well look who’s thirty seconds late,” Jake smirked at her.

“There was a hold up at the, uh, bank again,” she said. Gina gave her a pointed look from across the room that said _not sexy_.

Right, _sexy sexy sexy_ Amy mouthed to herself. 

“What was that?” Jake asked.

“Oh nothing, just talking to myself.”

Jake looked confused.

Amy subtly looked around them to make sure no one was looking at them, but there weren’t many people in the precinct since it was early, and everyone that was there was preoccupied with something else.

Amy subtly unbuttoned another button and leaned across the desk.

“Jake,” she whispered.

“Wha-” 

“Caught this guy trying to smuggle three bags of coke onto the Staten Island Ferry,” Rosa said as she marched into the precinct, “didn’t realize there was a demand for coke among tourists,” she joked. 

No one was listening to her. The perp she was leading into the precinct was tall, with sculpted shoulders, a thin t shirt that barely concealed his torso, and a day’s worth of scruff that made him look ruggedly handsome.

“God dammit!” Amy and Jake said simultaneously, then looking at each other in surprise.

“What?” said Jake.

“There’s no way I can compete with that!”

“There’s no way _I_ can compete with that,” said Jake. 

Once Rosa had locked him in the holding cell, Jake marched up to her. 

“Can I help you interrogate this guy? Seems like a piece of work,” Jake laughed awkwardly. 

“He’s super hot, I get it”

“Haha whaaat I didn’t even notice.”

Rosa rolled her eyes at him, “I think the collective drool of this place would be enough to fill a bathtub.”

“Ew Rosa!”

“Look, I’ll let you and Santiago sit behind the glass and moon over him.”

“Yes!” Jake fist pumped. Rosa just raised her eyebrows at him.

“I mean,” Jake coughed and lowered his voice, “you’re welcome.”

Ten minutes later he, Amy, and Gina were sitting behind the glass of the interrogation with a large bag of popcorn.

"This is the best day ever," Jake said. 

“You’re lucky I’m sharing,” Gina replied, glaring at Jake.

Jake just grinned, shoving an enormous handful of popcorn into his mouth as the three of them eyed up the perp on the other side of the glass. Amy couldn't even find it in herself to be annoyed at the distraction from winning the bet. Was it weird that she was sitting, hand in hand with her boyfriend as they both watched their colleague interrogate a smoking hot criminal? Probably, but she had to agree with Jake that it was turning out to be a great day.

***

“Peralta, Santiago, I understand you have been aiding Detective Diaz with her interrogation,” Holt barked as Jake and Amy returned to their desks.

“We were extremely helpful,” Amy said. Jake snorted.

“Good. I have another case for you both,” Holt replied. 

“Does it involve any more hot--” Amy elbowed him and he coughed loudly, “I mean dangerous people?”

“This is a high profile case, Peralta, I expect you to take it seriously.”

“Yes, sir,” Amy replied. 

Holt looked to Jake, who nodded awkwardly.

“All right, come with me,” Holt said as he led them into his office. Amy gave Jake a look that said _you better not mess this up_. Jake gulped.

***

The case was nothing they hadn’t handled before. That didn’t mean it wasn’t a big deal. A major robbery at the mayor’s personal home, including some important cabinet files, was nothing to laugh at. They quickly went from Jake and Amy to _Detective Peralta_ and _Detective Santiago_. Well, _Detective Peralta_ always stayed a little bit Jake, there was no way he could be totally serious for more than two minutes, but Amy was in total game time mode.

It was a nice neighborhood with houses that seemed too big for New York and perfectly green lawns. The house in question was a large, colonial style house.

“Okay, we need to check if there is any security footage, ask if anyone in the neighborhood witnessed the break in.”

Amy's hair was tied back and she was wearing her NYPD best over her usual pantsuit. Her eyes seemed to sparkle as she threw herself into the case, like she got a rush from the work. 

Jake watched her, a little bit in awe. Obviously, Amy was good at her job, but when she got into it Jake couldn’t help but get a little turned on.

“What?” Amy asked.

“Nothing,” Jake replied, his cheeks a little pink.

“Then start going door to door. I’ll get the security tapes,” she said, all business mode, and it took a few seconds for Jake to get his mind out of the gutter before he headed to the next building over.

He talked to a single mother up the street and the older gentleman next door, but neither of them noticed anything out of the ordinary the day of the robbery. 

Amy joined him a few minutes later. She walked towards him with sunglasses, a notebook in hand, and everything seemed to be in slow motion. It was like in one of those action movies where the badass good guy walks out to kick some bad guy butt. It was super hot. Hotter than Rosa’s hot perp. Hotter than AC Slater.

“How many houses have you made it to?” she asked.

Jake coughed before speaking.

“Just two. Nothing yet.”

Amy flipped open the cover of her notebook, marking something down. Notebook flipping shouldn't have been hot, but for some reason it was.

“Okay,” Jake stopped, smirking as he put his hands on his hips, “it’s not going to work.”

“What are you talking about?” she said, turning to him. The sun was making her hair extra shiny and Jake had to remind himself not to get distracted.

“I know you’re just doing this for the bet.”

“Doing what?” she said, looking genuinely confused.

Jake rolled his eyes

“Oh, I don’t know, hmm, how about the sunglasses, the notebook flip, the swishy ponytail thing,” he fumbled at the end.

“I’m just doing my job.”

“You and I both know that you’re just trying to seduce me and win the bet.”

“No I’m not. It’s sunny, so I put on sunglasses. I’m taking notes so we can solve this case.”

“Oh come on, you’re not fooling anyone,” Jake argued.

Amy rolled her eyes.

“Come on, we’ve got work to do,” she led him to the next house.

It was a retired couple. They didn’t see anything, but Amy took meticulous notes on everything they said, listening carefully and asking tactful questions. She was so beautiful in the afternoon sun, her brow furrowed adorably as she asked the questions.

 _I love this woman_ , Jake thought to himself. And he knew he’d lost the bet.

***

“Look Jake, you need to cut the crap. It’s gross seeing you two trying to seduce each other at work,” Rosa told him.

Okay, so there had been a few rather unsubtle shenanigans and everyone at work (except Holt thank God) had found out about their little bet. No one was really surprised because bets we're about as common as breathing for Jake and Amy, but their coworkers were starting to get annoyed by the whole thing.

“Rosa! You and Pimento are so much worse!” Jake pointed out.

“That’s different,” Rosa said, a distant look in her eyes, “when I see him I just want to lick--”

“No! Nope nope nopity nope.”

“Okay look. I didn’t want to bring this up because you know I don’t care about your personal life,” Rosa sighed, “I know you’re scared of commitment Jake, but I also know you love Amy. You need to just man up and buy the mattress because I don’t want to see you lose her.”

“Awww Rosa!” Jake said, touched by her display of empathy.

“Shut up! I just want you guys to stop being so gross at work.”

“Uh huh, I know you really care Rosa,” Jake teased.

Rosa gave him a pointed look and Jake sighed, avoiding her gaze.

"I do love Amy, it's just I'm not used to this kinda stuff. No one seems to stick around when it comes to me."

"We've all got issues, man. You can't let it stop you from getting what you want out of life."

"I knew you were secretly a romantic!"

“Shut up," she replied, punching him aggressively in the arm, "so are you gonna do it?”

Jake sighed. 

“Give me your keys, I’ll drive you and we can look at mattresses.”

“And bounce on them?”

“Are you kidding? Of course!”

***

Jake seemed nervous as they made their way home from work. He hadn’t said as much as he usually did, seeming slightly distracted. When they reached his apartment he took a deep breath before putting his key in the lock.

When he pulled the door open he looked at her with an overly fond look in his eyes and a hopeful little half smile on his lips. 

“Come on,” he said, reaching for her hand. 

He led her down the hall, into the bedroom, her trailing him curiously, although she had an idea what this was about. 

The room was surprisingly clean. He had gotten neater after a few months with Amy, but usually there were still a few t-shirts discarded in the corner and nick nacks littering any open surfaces. Not today though, as the room was tidy. Even the bed was made, with blue checkered sheets she had never seen before. Amy eyed it suspiciously. 

“Is that--”

“A new mattress.”

“Really?” 

“Obviously, I was gonna buy you a new mattress,” he sighed, releasing some of the anxiety. Amy just smiled at him, her eyes shining a little. 

“Don’t be nervous, babe,” she said, reaching to brush her thumb along his cheek. Jake rolled his eyes. 

“I’m just not used to losing to you,” he joked, even though they both knew that wasn’t what the nervousness was about. 

“You don’t have to be nervous with me.”

“I know. I’m just bad at this stuff.”

“You’re really not.”

Jake shook his head, disbelieving that she wanted to be with him when he was childish and immature and couldn't even seem to handle something as simple as buying a mattress without a nonsensical bet involved. 

Amy seemed to hear his thoughts because she said, “You bought the mattress in the end, so I’m proud of you. And I don’t want to be with someone who only thinks about taxes and retirement plans. I want to be with someone fun, who can make me laugh,” she looked at him thoughtfully and added quietly, “ that’s you.” 

“I love you,” he said with that overly fond look in his eyes.

“I love you too.”

“This whole thing was kinda silly wasn’t it.”

“We should probably stop making decisions with bets,” she said, wrapping her arms around Jake’s neck as he slid his around her middle. She pressed up into him and he kissed her sweetly. When they pulled apart, Amy looked up at him and a smirk began to form. She leaned in to kiss him again.

“You know, I’m really glad you caved,” she whispered against his lips. 

“Yeah?”

She pushed him onto the bed, and he landed with an oof. Jake looked up at her in awe as she climbed on top of him.


End file.
